Divine Comedy - Bernice Bobs Her Hair

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(Wot, you all settled then? Right, we can begin. My name is...)
(Alfie!)
Once there was a time
when my mind lay on higher things
And once there was a time
I could find pretty words to sing
But now, well now I find
it saves time to say what you mean
I know it seems so unrefined
But it's time to let off some steam
Oh come on!
Everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S
But the more I look through them the more I see
I'm becoming more like Alfie
Once there was a time
when a kind word could be enough
Andonce there was a time
I could blindfold myself with love
But not now - now I'm resigned
to the kind of life I'd reserved
for other guys less smart than I
Y'know the kind who will always end up with the girls
And besides
everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S
But the more I look through them the more I see
I'm becoming more like Alfie
Oh come on!
I'm becoming more like Alfie